


Weapons in Lace; A Liar’s Painted Face

by vexxedBereavement



Series: Let these dumb idiots be soft [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: (it’s background but it’s there), Andrew Minyard Loves Neil Josten, Coping, Fluff, Gay Disaster Andrew Minyard, I wrote this a while ago, Implied/Refrenced Child Abuse, Insecurity, M/M, Not Beta Read, Team as Family, effeminate!neil, fashion - Freeform, femboy Friday but it’s Thursday so shhhhh, femboy!neil, idk how this happened but it did, it’s bad, it’s cute I swear, supportive!foxes, takes place before ‘a knife becomes blunt’
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25318006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vexxedBereavement/pseuds/vexxedBereavement
Summary: Neil has always liked soft things like dresses and skirts, but he’s scared his serrated edges will rip the fabric in two.This is how he lets go.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: Let these dumb idiots be soft [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1819084
Comments: 5
Kudos: 167





	Weapons in Lace; A Liar’s Painted Face

**Author's Note:**

> CONTENT WARNING: Implied Child Abuse 
> 
> yo guys. this is pretty bad and I wrote it a while ago but I figured I should post it anyways. I have a college!au 5+1 im writing that’s already 3,000 words and I haven’t even gotten to the 5+1 yet so look out for that 
> 
> Also please kudos and comment! It really helps to get feedback and it keeps me motivated.

It started at the mall. Allison took him to the mall all the time, but this was the first time she had let him pick something out for himself. Nicky, who had joined them this time, was incredulous. 

“You’re going to let him pick something out? His sense of fashion is horrendous!’ he screeched. 

“I know that.” Allison replied, “I just want to know what he’s interested in.” 

So the two of them let Neil loose, free to look at whatever he liked. It was at once freeing and terrifying. Shopping with Allison had been a comfort. His mother had always picked his clothes out for him, and though they never went to stores as nice or expensive as the ones Allison took him to, it was familiar all the same anyways. 

To be given the ability to pick for himself was new. Which wasn’t a bad thing, a voice that suspiciously sounded like Bee said in his head. But it was still a bit overwhelming. 

He said so to Allison, who rolled her eyes and pointed towards a store she told him to start in. Said that she and Nicky would be in the food court and ‘fucking text me when you find something instead of walking all the way across the goddamn mall, okay? I’ll come to you.’

He looked through the men’s section for a while, but nothing caught his eye. 

Until….

He was at the edge of the men’s section, where it meets with the women’s section. He turned around to go through the next aisle when he spotted it. 

A stand, holding hair accessories, little ways away from an identical tie stand on the men’s side. 

He looked around a bit, saw that no one was in his immediate area, and walked up to it. 

He first grabbed a soft, cloth, and lavender headband that had images of flowers embroidered on it. It brought back one of the few happy memories from his childhood. His mother had a dress that same color, but he had only seen her wear it once. The two of them had gone to the farmers market together while his father was away. He was about six at the time and had sat in a red wagon while Mary, with a cigarette hanging from her mouth (wearing that lavender dress, the exact same shade as the headband) pushed him through the market at a leisurely pace. An older woman had noticed him sitting in the wagon and had handed him a peach almost the size of his face. When his mother went to pay for it, the woman just smiled and said it was free of charge. 

After they had finished all the shopping, Mary had sat Neil down on an innocuous park bench and split the peach with him. He ended up getting the juice all over his face, so Mary had used the sleeve of her dress to wipe it all off. She smiled at him after that, and he smiled back. 

Returning to the present, Neil decided to put the headband in the small bag Allison insisted on him carrying around and looked at the other things on the stand. 

There are hair clips too, as well as other headbands, but Neil doesn’t think he can deal with more hair accessories when just a headband is giving him so many mixed feelings, so he puts the headband into his bag and ventures into the thick of the women’s section.

He finds fancy gowns and tight sweaters and he wants in a way he never did when he looked at the men’s clothes. A certain shirt catches his eye when he passes it. 

It’s a light coral button up with a pocket on the right breast and thin white stripes. He decides to grab one in his size and stuffs it into the bag. He also grabs a pair of dark blue jean shorts with two different sets of buttons going down the front and stretchy elastic. 

As he walks to the front counter to check out his three items, he thinks about how humorous it is that someone like him would want to wear something so...feminine. Soft. 

It goes against what his mother has always taught him. Him, Neil Josten, College Athlete, Striker for the Palmetto State Foxes, Male, wanting to wear women’s clothing. He had always wondered what it would be like to wear the same long flowing skirts as Renee, or the short shorts that Allison adorns when it’s hot. But actually putting on anything resembling those outfits feels-

Off-limits. Wrong. Banned.

Himself in a skirt would be like a knife dressed in lace and tied with a bow. 

When he gets to the counter, the woman asks if the clothes are a gift for his girlfriend. 

Not wanting to talk to her he says ‘yes’, and then pays, getting his clothes back and putting them into the bag once again. He texts Allison. 

Chat with BetterBitchthanU and #10 Dumbass opened at 3:10 PM

#10 Dumbass   
Im done

BetterBitchthanU  
ok ill be there in 5 

BetterBitchthanU  
you find anything good?

#10 Dumbass   
Yeah a couple of things 

Neil then closed his phone and waited outside the store for the telltale signs of Nicky and Allison arriving. He had been there for about 5 minutes when they arrived. 

“Alright Josten, let’s see what you got!” Allison called out, Nicky nodding next to her fervently. 

Neil was hesitant at first but ended up handing them the bag. It was just Nicky and Allison, they wouldn’t judge him, right? They were family. And not the type of family he had before but real family.

Allison took out the shirt, shorts, and headband. She looked surprised, and Nicky made a choked off noise at the back of his throat but neither of them said a word. Neil looked down at the floor, wondering if maybe he was too quick to assume they wouldn’t judge. That is until Allison said:

“Purple would be a better color for the shirt.” 

“What?” Neil said after two tries to get his voice. 

“C’mon Josten, we’re returning this shirt for a purple one.” 

“You don’t think its weird? That I wanna wear...that.” Neil said, pointing at the clothes Allison was holding.

“No, of course not,” said Nicky, “I mean it’s surprising but you can wear whatever you want, as long as its not the rags you had before.”

Neil felt lighter than air when he left the mall that day, holding a bag with his new clothes he couldn’t wait to wear.

\----

The day that Neil decided to wear his new outfit had been a bad one. He had had a nightmare the previous night and was feeling very self-conscious so he decided hed wear the outfit to make himself feel better. 

He slipped on the button up, pulled on the shorts and tucked the bottom of the shirt into it, and used the headband to pull his wayward curls out of his face. He even painted his nails white with some polish he had squirreled away from Allison’s room a couple of days ago. When he looked in the mirror he felt a bit more like Neil Josten and a bit less like Nathaniel Wesninski. 

He didn’t wear the outfit out that day (He would not have been able to handle the stare or the questions) not letting even Andrew see it, but he did keep the nail polish on for his morning class, taking it off afterward so Matt, who he shared his next class with, wouldn’t see.

\-----

The day he finally decided to wear the outfit out, the only person who had seen it was Andrew. 

Neil had slipped the clothes back on, reapplied the nail polish, and even put on a choker he stole from Dan. 

When he had slipped out of the bathroom in the Columbia house (he and Andrew had decided to stay there for the weekend) he walked down the stairs to find Andrew. When he did, all the man did was stare at him with his level gaze, something Neil couldn’t place swimming in his eyes.

“Do you like it?” Neil asked. 

“542%” Andrew replied. 

But then

“Yes or No?” 

He knew the answer to that question.

So as they put their lips together, Neil thought about how Andrew seemed to very much like the outfit. 

That was good. 

Neil liked it too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Again sorry it’s bad 
> 
> Hit me up! 
> 
> aestheticallypleasingramen@gmail.com


End file.
